One of the biggest mistake new writers make is by using passive words.
The best way to avoid the problem is to do a search. Word processors let you find words easily. After doing a search, highlight the word, and then read your manuscript. Remove or rephrase the sentences to make your writing more active.
Here are some of the words to search for:
Was
That
Heard
Watch
Saw
Feel
Began
Started
Tried
Knew
Think
Remove the word.
Example: He knew she loved him but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
(If we’re in his POV then try)
Better: She loved him but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
Or complete rewrite
She loved him but he couldn’t say I love you.
Have fun,
Anita Philmar
www.anitaphilmar.com
Actually I find in the first sentence there is more of him - he knows he loves her - he just can't find the inner courage to say those words.
ReplyDeleteThe last version is - he is confident she loves him but he can't say it. - the sentence is cold and without depth
We get so caught up in following rules - sometimes we don't pay attention to what we write. And feel free to totally disagree with me - most people do.