English - That Strange Language We Love to Hate

Same word different meaning.
Read a few and you'll no longer doubt why people struggle with our language.


1) The bandage as wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4)   We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

It's no wonder people can't spell.

Anita
www.anitaphilmar.com

Rock My Senses by Lisa Carlisle

Knights of Stone

Rock My Senses

Lisa Carlisle

Underground Encounters 6

Computer geek by day, by night Mike Harvey becomes outlandish guitarist Chee Keydood for rock band Velvet Cocks. Spotting two women kissing in a club, he thinks he’s in luck.

Allana Miles isn’t sure what came over her, but she sure as hell recognizes Chee and can’t believe he doesn’t remember her from their one-night stand. But she has no time to think about him—she’s too busy opening her own yoga studio to get involved in a relationship.

When they meet again at a New Year’s party, their attraction reignites, too hot to ignore. But they’ve got issues to overcome. Allana catches glimpses of the man behind the façade, but doesn’t think they can fit into each other’s lives even though the sex is great. Mike has always known he’s a bit different, but is shocked to discover his real nature. Will he be able to protect Allana from danger and convince her to take a chance on him?

A Romantica® paranormal erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave

Excerpt

Peering behind an amp where the sound came from, I saw something that made me forget why I was back here. Two women were in a heated kiss. A tall auburn-haired one wearing a black vinyl dress with corset fastenings along her back had a petite blonde pressed against a wall. I slipped back against the wall to blend in with the shadows, mesmerized. Was there anything hotter than two women making out?

The taller one took the smaller woman’s wrists and pressed them higher against the wall. She moved her mouth down to kiss the blonde’s neck and slid her hand under her skirt.

Holy shit! She was touching her right in front of me. Forget the burlesque dancers, this was a much better private show.

Now I could see more of the blonde’s face, her eyes closed, mouth half-open, and an expression that spelled pure ecstasy. The tiny mewling sounds escaping her shot me to rock-hard status. I had to adjust my pants. Watching them was wrong, I knew it. But I couldn’t tear my eyes away even if I’d had a crowbar.

The blonde cried out, setting my senses on alert. Compelled to make sure she was all right, I peered closer. Her pained expression changed to a rapturous one, clearly enjoying whatever was happening. Maybe they liked it rough, with a little pain. Nothing wrong with that.

I didn’t hear anyone approach, but a massive, long-blond-haired guy in black swooped in front of the women. “Nike, stop,” he commanded.

The auburn-haired woman turned his way and hissed. It sounded more feline than female. “Leave us, Danton.” She bent down over the woman’s neck again.

“You can’t do this.” He pulled her away as if she were as light as a mic stand. “Where’s Michel?”

This woman had drops of blood smeared on her chin and on sharp white teeth, which I swear looked like fangs. Holy shit, fangs. I knew this club was full of freaks, but vampire play? Jeez.

“He’s not here,” she hissed.

“Let’s call him to come get you.” He clamped onto her wrist and she pouted, but didn’t fight him.

The guy scanned the area backstage and pointed at me. “You. Take her out of here.” He nodded to the blonde. Her eyes still appeared unfocused, dazed by lust.

“What?” I replied, stepping out from behind the amp. “I don’t even know her.”

“Get her out of here. It’s for her safety,” he said. With his free hand, he took the blonde by the wrist and nudged her in my direction.

The blonde’s eyes floated around, but then widened when she focused on my face. “You?” she said, astonished.

After a quick glance at her, the Viking dude said, “You will not remember any of what happened back here tonight.” His eyes fixated on mine, not blinking.

“What the hell, dude?”

He looked away and inhaled, closing his eyes and muttering something under his breath. Staring at me again, he said, “You will forget what happened back here tonight.”

“Whoa, are you trying to pull some kind of Jedi mind trick on me?” I raised my hands. “Not cool, man.”

The Viking guy continued to stare, but then tilted his head, appraising me. The woman began to squirm out of his grasp, flashing her bloody fangs our way as she reached for the blonde next to me.

“Get her out of here,” he repeated. “Now!”

The urgency in his voice and the prospect of being bitten by a madwoman who took a fascination with vampires to an extreme spurred me into action. Forgetting about the band with their luscious half-naked dancers, I grabbed the blonde’s hand. She was somewhat woozy and toddled on her spiky heels so I threw her over my shoulder to get us out of the club faster. Her scent washed over me, clean with undertones of coconut. It tugged at the back of my brain with familiarity.

Her wits must have begun to return as she pounded my lower back. “Put me down.”

“Easy, princess,” I said. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help! Put me down.”

Once we were outside in the brisk New England air, I set her on her feet. The salty tang of the ocean tickled my nostrils even though it was hundreds of yards away. A light dusting of snow had fallen and a few snowflakes fluttered through the air, but it wasn’t dense enough to stick and would probably be gone by morning.

“What the hell was that about in there? You’ve got blood dripping down your neck.”

She dabbed at her neck and stared at her fingers, now stained dark red. “What the—” A snowflake went straight for her finger and we both watched mesmerized as stark white met velvet red and was swallowed by it.

A few snowflakes fell onto her cheeks and her tiny nose and I felt an urge to brush them away, but they melted once they met the warmth of her flushed skin. She had delicate features and pretty blue eyes. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place how I knew her. Her blonde hair lay tousled on her shoulders, set off by the black of a dress that clung to her tight little body. My cock had settled down after the freaky incident inside, but twitched back to life again.

“Are you two into some weird-ass drugs and vampire role-play or something?” I asked.

My question distracted her from her blood-covered fingers. She still appeared dazed, but wobbled less. The fresh air and sight of blood must have jolted her back to reality. She reached into her purse and pulled out tissues to blot the blood.

“I’m not judging,” I clarified, in case I embarrassed her. “We all have our things.” When she didn’t answer me, I asked, “Where do you live?”

She focused on me with a dead-eyed stare. “Figures you don’t remember.”

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Thanks for sharing Lisa,

Anita

#FallingIntoLove with King Arthur's Sister by Kim Iverson Headlee

  

TITLE – King Arthur’s Sister in Washington’s Court (KASIWC)
AUTHOR – Kim Iverson Headlee

GENRE – Science Fiction/Fantasy Time-Travel Romance

PUBLICATION DATE – 1 November 2014 (ebook); 1 February 2015 (audiobook); 1 November 2015 (hardcover)

LENGTH (Pages/# Words) – 350 pages/70K words

PUBLISHER – Lucky Bat Books

COVER ARTIST – Jennifer Doneske

INTERIOR ARTISTS – Jennifer Doneske and Tom Doneske

FEATURE-LENGTH SCRIPTS – Registered trilogy: adaptation of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain, adaptation of KASIWC, and original script The Once and Future Queen; all available upon request.
 
PR OPPORTUNITY: Blog tour hosted by My Family's Heart Blog Tours November 1-30 2014. Bloggers, please sign up here, thanks!

   
SYNOPSIS

Morgan le Fay, 6th-century Queen of Gore and the only major character not killed off by Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, vows revenge upon the Yankee Hank Morgan. She casts a spell to take her to 1879 Connecticut so she may waylay Sir Boss before he can travel back in time to destroy her world. But the spell misses by 300 miles and 200 years, landing her in the Washington, D.C., of 2079, replete with flying limousines, hovering office buildings, virtual-reality television, and sundry other technological marvels.

Whatever is a time-displaced queen of magic and minions to do? Why, rebuild her kingdom, of course—two kingdoms, in fact: as Campaign Boss for the reelection of American President Malory Beckham Hinton, and as owner of the London Knights world-champion baseball franchise.

Written as though by the old master himself, King Arthur’s Sister in Washington’s Court by Mark Twain as channeled by Kim Iverson Headlee offers laughs, love, and a candid look at American society, popular culture, politics, baseball...and the human heart.

BUY LINKS

Amazon Kindle Pre-order:
US | UK | CA | AU | BR | DE | ES | FR | IN | IT | JP | MX

EXCERPT

King Arthur’s Sister in Washington’s Court
by Mark Twain
as channeled by Kim Iverson Headlee

Chapter XI: The Queen in Search of a Baseball Club

CLARICE HELPED ME pack my clothing and accessories for the relocation to London: just what I would need for the first brace of weeks, which amounted to eight large traveling cases, one of which was devoted to my hair accoutrements and cosmetics. Not long after arriving in this century, Clarice had introduced me to these wonderful products, which allowed me to create the same visual effect as I had done for decades with the aid of magic; now you sit privy to the secret of how I could cast ever so many enchantments for President Malory and remain looking as glorious as ever.

While I was yet sorting through my garments deciding which to bring and which to leave, my thoughts turned toward a leaving of another sort. I must have appeared sorrowful, for of a sudden Clarice asked if aught ailed me.

“I shall miss you, Clarice, when I get to London.” Since that answer represented only half the truth, I hurried on with: “And yet I know that you shall perform your duties in continuing to oversee my office here in Washington to the utmost of your considerable abilities.”

That made her smile, and she thanked me for the compliment, but her look turned shrewd. “I imagine you’ll miss President Hinton, too.”

“Of course I shall. She has become as a sister to me.”

I resumed examination of the dress I had been holding, a sexy little black thing that I would have loved to have worn only for Accolon…

“Please tell me about him,” said Clarice.

“I beg your pardon?”

The shrewd look was back. Mayhap it had never left. “Sir Accolon. Queen Morgan, you have not—um, partnered with any man of this century more often than once to my certain knowledge, since I manage your schedule. I suspect that you have not yet found anyone you like, let alone love, as well as he. No one of this era could make you go all moony-eyed while looking at a dress; therefore, you must be thinking about Accolon. So, please tell me about him.”

Ha. I knew I had chosen her as my trusted adviser for good reason, and I rewarded her accordingly. As the memories swirled about in my mind, making me yearn even more acutely for Accolon’s company, I said:

“He was a knight with very few peers during his lifetime, excepting only Sir Launcelot and Sir Gawaine. And my brother—those three were the only knights who ever bested him in single combat. So naturally, he was big—in all parts and portions—and muscular, and very strong, yet as a lover he was no brute, but as tender as any virgin maid could ever wish for. His intellect was nearly as keen as mine, as was his eagerness to assist me in righting the wrongs inflicted upon me by my brother. He had hair as glossy black as a raven’s wing, which he kept short-cropped in the old Roman style; he once said it was more comfortable under the helmet than having masses of hair stuffed up under and making the head sweat overmuch. It had a fine curl to it that I found most endearing. His eyes were an unforgettable shade of blue, and he had a strong chin that he kept clean-shaven…Lord God in heaven! Who on earth is that?”

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Thanks for sharing your book,

Anita

Spot Light on A Romance for Christmas by Kayelle Allen #MFRWauthor

A Romance for Christmas
By Kayelle Allen

A cop at the door on Christmas Eve brings an unexpected gift.A sweet holiday romance showcasing love, loss, and the spirit of giving.It's Christmas Eve, and the end of a year in which everything Dara loves has been lost. Everything but her little girl and a fierce determination to survive. When a cop brings Christmas to her door, he brings another gift she never expected to get.

Buy Links

Amazon http://amzn.to/1wpW8qE

Barnes and Noble http://bit.ly/1wpYfL2

Kobo http://bit.ly/1wpYndJ

iBooks http://is.gd/sdSfMT

CreateSpace http://is.gd/gazeza

Giveaway

This giveaway is for everyone. Click below to download an illustrated pdf containing an excerpt, the history of the story, the meaning behind the names, and more. A Romance for Christmas is a sweet holiday romance that makes you feel great about giving.http://is.gd/rom4cmaspeek Visit my website to download a free 22p Christmas cookbook you can share with friends. You don't have to sign up for anything, click anything, or register for something. It's really free. Early Merry Christmas! http://kayelleallen.com/exc-romchristmas.html

Nancy Fraser and the Muse Presented by @GoddessFish

AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Like most authors, Nancy Fraser began writing at an early age, usually on the walls and with crayons or, heaven forbid, permanent markers. Her love of writing often made her the English teacher’s pet, which, of course, resulted in a whole lot of teasing. Still, it was worth it.

When not writing (which is almost never), Nancy dotes on her five beautiful grandchildren and looks forward to traveling and reading when time permits. Nancy lives in Atlantic Canada where she enjoys the relaxed pace and colorful people.

Website: www.nancyfraser.ca

Blog: http://nancyfraser.ca/wordpress/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/nfraserauthor  @nfraserauthor

Facebook: http://facebook.com/nancyfraserauthor

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7206382.Nancy_Fraser

What's your favorite book you've written?

It’s not just a book, but a series of novellas. Called the Golden Decade of Rock and Roll, the first 4 are already out and story #5 (Dream Lover), comes out in December. The stories are set from 1955-1964 and the titles are all Rock and Roll song titles from each of the ten years. The covers are beautifully vintage and include a jukebox and record background. The stories themselves reflect the romance of the time period.

What was the hardest book to write and why?

Actually the one I’m working on now has been an emotional rollercoaster and it’s taking me far longer than it should. It’s the third book in a proposed five-book, co-authored series of post-Civil War romances. What’s making it nearly impossible to complete is that my writing partner passed away in May from cancer. I want desperately to finish the book in her honor, as well as the rest of the proposed series. However, sitting down and actually writing has been difficult.  I’m pretty sure Patti’s up there teaching the angels how to write romance and cursing me out because I haven’t finished the book!

What tips would you give a new writer?

This is a question I love to answer. First of all, develop a thick skin and do it quickly. Also, accept the fact that there will be things you’ll need to let go. It’s inevitable that your editor is going to ask you to change the one scene you thought was perfect. Get good (and fast) at promotion even before your book comes out. Social media is an absolute (we barely had email when I started writing). However, it can also be a huge time-suck if you don’t learn how to manage it before the book comes out. And, finally, organize everything. Develop a separate “media” folder for every book so that everything you need (tweets, FB posts, bio, buy links, blurb and excerpt) is in one document. Your bio should also change slightly with each book. Keep the beginning the same but tailor the ending to fit the book you’re promoting (e.g., if your story has a family aspect talk about your children/grandchildren or pets; if your story is historical talk about your love of travel or the timeperiod). It doesn’t have to be a long drop in, just a sentence or two.

How much if any influence do you have on cover art

It depends on the publisher. I actively write for 4 different publishers at the moment. They all use a “cover art” form and I do my best to be as detailed as possible, including downloading images and including them when I turn in the paperwork. The very sexy, award winning cover of my co-authored historical, The Lawman’s Agreement, was actually created from an image I’d purchased through a stock company and included with my form. I also worked with the same cover artist on a contemporary months later and, again, she used my choice of photo. With my R&R novellas, I worked with the cover artist to develop the recurring them (jukebox and record) and then the artist chooses the character to add to the cover. The cover design for The Muse was exactly as I’d invisioned the characters. Then, on top of that, the cover artist blew me away with the sepia tone and splash of red lipstick.

What are your current projects?

Obviously finishing the third book in our post-Civil War series is first on my agenda. I’ve also signed a contract with Decadent Publishing to do another 1920’s erotic romance. The Mysterious Mrs. Pennybaker is based on a true story of a woman who worked as a spy during WW I with a lot of steamy sex (and two men) thrown in for good measure.

As well, the sixth book in my R&R series is due soon. AND, I am also working on a vintage historical/rework of a Grimm fairytale for Decadent Publishing’s Beyond Fairytales line.

Describe your writing style in ten words or less.

The creativity black hole: Grandma’s “just” writing. She can babysit.

Personal Questions

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Exactly what I am, a published author. Dreams do come true if you’re patient and/or stubborn.

Do you ever wish that you had an entirely uncreative job, like data entry or working in a factory?

Been there, done that. I’ve done everything from waitressing to training customer service agents for call centers. No thanks. I’ll take writing, even if it’s only a FB post, any day!

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Warning: prone to fits of weirdness. May require straight jacket or laptop in order to restore sanity.

What is your favorite comfort food?

Homemade banana pudding.

If you could have three wishes granted, what would you wish for?

Good health for myself and my family. A NYT bestseller and a sexy, younger man who appreciates a mature woman.

The Muse

by Nancy Fraser

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BLURB:

Privileged Hyde Park socialite, Susan Leland, wants more from life than being a rich man’s daughter. She wants excitement, daring, but most of all, she wants to explore her sexuality. A chance meeting with artist Evan Forrester, a man she’d met purely by ‘accident’ months earlier, leads Susan on a journey of sensual discovery that not only includes the handsome Evan, but also sultry torch singer, Holly Winters. Together, the singer and the artist uncover Susan’s utmost desires and unleash her inner vamp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCERPT:

Susan tapped lightly on the solid oak door leading to Evan Forrester’s downtown loft. The building was old, in parts dilapidated and smelling of mold. The three-story climb to his studio had been precarious, with more broken stairs than good ones. The urge to turn and flee ran rampant through her thoughts. She still couldn’t believe she was actually taking him up on his suggestion.

She hesitated. She hadn’t pictured him being destitute, a starving artist unable to afford something better than this run-down building. As hard as she tried to ignore her inner voice, she couldn’t hide her concern for the safety of her situation. Eager to be out of the dark, damp hallway, she knuckled the door a bit harder, stopping just short of actually using her balled-up fist to pound the old wood.

From behind the barrier, she could hear the shuffle of footsteps, and held her breath in anticipation. When the door opened, she let her breath out on a sigh of relief.

“You’re here,” Evan said, his gaze flaring as if she’d caught him by surprise.

“You said one o’clock,” Susan reminded him. She made a rather deliberate show of staring at her bare wrist. “It’s five minutes of, according to my watch.”

He stepped back and allowed her inside. Unlike the dark entryway and corridors leading to the third floor, his loft was filled with color, vivid splashes of paint adorning walls full of original artwork. Windows rose from floor to ceiling, allowing the early afternoon sun to shine through, unimpeded by draperies of any kind. Sparsely furnished with nothing more than a few chairs and a small kitchen table. Susan wondered what lay behind each of the three doors along the back wall.

“Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d show.” He waved his hand in a circle, the arc encompassing the entire open living area. “I don’t get many Hyde Park society girls in my studio.”

She raised her chin a notch. “Whether you realize it or not, I’m not like most Hyde Park girls.” When he didn’t comment, she reminded him, “You said I could make up for the accident by posing for you. I’m here to make amends for—as you put it—the pain and suffering my recklessness caused.”

He chuckled, the teasing lilt of his voice drawing her attention to where he stood. It was then she realized he was dressed in little more than a pair of tight- fitting denim rousers and an unbuttoned shirt. A sparse patch of short curls adorned his well-muscled chest, trailing downward to disappear inside the waistband of his pants. His feet were bare and his dark hair tousled, as if she’d awoken him from a sound sleep. His second laugh, this one much heartier than the first, told her she’d been caught staring. A sudden wave of heat rushed her cheeks. Her pulse raced.

“As I said last night, I don’t do formal portraits.”

His words drew her gaze back to his face, his mouth, the fullness of his lips. She raised her head and nodded. “Let’s just get this over with, please.”

He crooked his finger and motioned for her to follow. “Bathroom’s through there, if you need the facilities.” He opened the door to the middle room. “This is my bedroom. You can change in here, if you’d like. There’s a dressing gown hanging on the back of the door.”

“Change into what?” she asked. Her throat suddenly as dry as a pile of cotton batting, she slipped out of her lightweight coat and cloche and laid them at the foot of the bed.

Evan shook his head; his eyebrows arched and wagged teasingly. “Into as very little as you’re comfortable with, Miss Leland. I prefer totally nude, but if you’d like to leave your fancy drawers on, I can use my imagination.” He motioned toward the wooden table in the corner of the room. “There are some props, jewelry and the sort, over there, if you’d like to doll yourself up.”

“Anything else?” She did her best to put a sarcastic bent to her question yet feared her voice trembled too much to make the right impression.

He lowered his gaze from her face, across her body, down her legs, settling at last on her ankles. The intensity of his perusal made her toes curl.

“Take off those shoes and put on a pair with ankle straps. Preferably black. There should be a pair in the closet that will fit you.” He turned toward the door, stopping to add, “My studio is in the next room over. I’ll prepare a fresh canvas. Don’t take forever. I have someone coming at three.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Now on sale at for 99cents.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Muse-Nancy-Fraser-ebook/dp/B00O982PHU/ref=la_B004AOL61Y_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414428753&sr=1-6

Decadent Publishing:  http://www.decadentpublishing.com/product_info.php?products_id=991&osCsid=esnmre25tve5vo15dqg3d0uu81

GIVEAWAY:
Nancy will be awarding a $15 GC to winner's choice of an online book retailer to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour, and another randomly drawn winner will be awarded a Reader's Coffee Mug (US/Canada - $5 GC for international winners). A $10 GC from the online book retailer ofthe host's choice will be awarded to a randomly drawn host.

the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found here: 

http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2014/09/vbt-muse-by-nancy-fraser.html

 a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks Nancy and GoddessFish for stopping by,